To have a baby or not to have a baby…

This is a topic that’s been on my mind a lot recently. Since I’m writing on my iPad and not on a laptop this won’t be a long blogpost – even though I realize it’s been a while since I last posted something. That, however, has its reasons and will be explained in another upcoming post.;)

So, here it goes. The hubby and I posted an April Fool’s joke on my Facebook page a few weeks ago. But not just for fun! Of course the fun part was a bonus, I have to admit that. We posted a photo of me looking at least 5-months pregnant. The caption said: “Since our wedding we’ve been asked the following questions constantly: Jana, are you pregnant or why aren’t you drinking? How’s it looking with planning your family? When will you be pregnant with your first child? And so on… That’s why we found it necessary to answer all these questions explicitly today.”

And what can I say, a lot of people fell for it. Even people that we’ve explicitly told our plans in the past and that we’re waiting to have kids. We didn’t intend to disappoint or offend anyone and we love all of our friends very much. However, the hubby and I are constantly being asked about a possible pregnancy and nobody really wants to listen when we tell them that we want to wait… It never occurs to anyone that these kind of questions can be extremely hurtful to a couple that IS actually trying to have a baby and is experiencing difficulties. Moreover, it was a harmless joke and we were not targeting someone to make them feel bad because they can’t get pregnant (which some people seemed to think). The hubby and I both know how hard it can be for people to have kids. Heck, we don’t even know if we will be able to have kids! We were just trying to make a point.

There are so many prejudices in the world. If you get married,  you are expected to have children right away and if you don’t, something’s  wrong with you. If you get married while you’re pregnant, you just tied the knot because you “had” to. If you have children and don’t say yes to each other, you’re just afraid to commit. I could go on and on about this, but I feel like in an advanced world like ours this shouldn’t even be a topic. It’s nobody’s business how or when we are planning our family or how any couple is doing it for that matter. If you ask once I totally understand it, but constantly going on and on about it can be extremely offending. Just keep that in mind next time.;) When the time comes, we will let our family and friends know – and not over social media. Take care.

Yours,

Jana

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